You Know How It Goes

You are a crafter. You knit, you maybe crochet a bit. Sometimes you might dabble with felting or spinning. Maybe not. This is your getaway, your tiny bit of you-time that you carve out from the demands of the world. You join a bunch of Facebook groups, looking to find like-minded individuals to share your passion with. People there share patterns that aren't like your grandma's knitting, they are modern and interesting, wearable even! They get you! Sometimes they even post a joke or two that relates to knitting. Occasionally something will strike a chord and will get posted in a few groups, a mini-viral response. Its ok, everyone comments and then you move on.

In your excitement and enthusiasm you make the ultimate mistake. You let your wider Facebook circles know about your hobby. You endure the "oh I've *always* wanted to know how to knit but I'm hopeless at crafts!" comments and the "how do you find the time?" that implies you are somehow less busy than them (and therefore less of a human.)

But here's the real kicker. After a little while, those mini-viral posts from the crafting groups somehow leak out into the non-crafting community on Facebook. They go proper viral. We all know the ones I mean. The reason you know them is because now every well meaning "friend" on Facebook  is sharing it and tagging you, asking you to make one for their little darling, or just letting you know in case you somehow missed it the first 25 times it came up on your feed.

The crochet slipper boots. The shark booties. The. Fucking. Mermaid. Blankets.

I get a lot of these posted to my wall. Now thanks to Facebook's "memory" feature I get cheerful reminders of when someone posted it to my wall LAST EFFING YEAR. Talk about adding insult to injury. Then the leaves changed, the weather got a little chilly and I made the image you see here.

 But it wasn't enough. I can't complain about it on Facebook because those same well-meaning "friends" might take offense. My knitting friends and I have a vent about it occasionally. I felt my ire needed a wider audience. So I present to you, Another Fucking Mermaid Blanket. Please, send me your screenshots, I will anonymise them and you. Then I will post them with as much snark as I can muster. Enjoy!